Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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