real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
two words: eviction party
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
