It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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