i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
