She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
