I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
