she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
