her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize