sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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