yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
