I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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