He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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