I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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