I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize