My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
did i just pee glitter
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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