: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
