I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
