Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
