please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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