Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
