you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
