Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
