I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My vagina just recognized that song.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The ass gains better be worth it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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