I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize
