You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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