All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
