3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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