He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
