I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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