I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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