Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
