I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
