About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
