So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
