He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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