Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
