I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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