? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize