No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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