Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
