That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
