I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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