Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
