I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
