so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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