atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
