he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
