getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
