Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
