I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
