In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
