Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
