They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
