the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just want nice things and good sex
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
