Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
