I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
