then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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